ELP Reflection

I am so sad that this is our last blog post... It's crazy to think how quickly this quarter went by. Although I am sad it is all coming to an end, it makes me thankful that I am so sad about it. It just goes to show the amazing friendships that I have created within this class and all of the amazing memories that we have shared together.

To answer the first question, "what did you get out of this class?", is almost unfair. I think that the amount of knowledge gained throughout this class was immeasurable. That sounds cliche, but there are things that I am sure I learned through ELP that I haven't even realized - life lessons, lessons of friendship, etc. I know for a fact that the most important aspect of this class that I gained was friendship and a sense of belonging. I met such great people in ELP and it was my first college class where I felt like everything I learned in class was applicable to the real world. Not just the lessons on theories, but the challenges we accepted together, the memories we all encountered, and everything in between. 

I am honestly having trouble explaining everything I learned in this class, so just know that this blog will not do it justice. Thank you Lori, Casey, and everyone else in ELP who helped me learn so much about myself and others throughout this 10 week journey. I am going to miss this class so much and I hope that we will all keep in touch.

I feel that we are constantly growing in our leadership development. Leadership is not something that can be measured as good or bad, or right or wrong. Leadership is all based on what you perceive as important. My views and goals on leadership are most likely far different from many of the other amazing leaders in our class, but that does not mean that I am right and they are wrong. In essence, we are all right. If we are striving to the best of our abilities and ultimately accomplish our goals, that is all that matters. As for right now, I am unsure of what my next steps as a leader are. I know for a fact that I want to become more involved at our school and help the incoming freshman grow as leaders as well. I truly think that by encouraging people to take this class and attend the leadership retreat for incoming freshman, they will be equally, if not more, inspired as I was.

Thanks again for everything you guys have done for me this quarter. I love you all (:

Tuckman's Stages of Group Development

Stage One: Forming
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ao55tDA82Ag
Sorry the video quality is so poor. It was hard to find a good quality video clip.

Stage Two: Storming
Clip #3

Stage Three: Norming
Clip #1

Stage Four: Performing:
Clip #2

Stage Five: Adjourning
Clip #4

Communication is key

I thought this week's lesson was very helpful in the sense that it made us realize how valuable communication is when working with others. However, verbal communication isn't the only form as we saw this week. Each person interprets things in their own ways and therefore things can often be misunderstood - simply put, emotions can easily be an issue when communication isn't used properly. 

I don't really understand what the top 5 methods for communicating are but I guess mine would be:
1. Verbal
2. Emotional
3. Using other objects
4. Using electronics
5. Using symbols and metaphors 

I would recommend that when trying to communicate with others, make things as clear as possible - have them repeat it back to you in a different way to make sure you are on the same page. Don't be afraid to ask or have others ask questions. 

It is definitely possible that my form of communication doesn't necessarily line up with others. For example, my dad has a hard time communicating his emotions to me. Instead of telling me that he's frustrated about something going on in his day, he would often just get mad at me for little things that weren't my fault. Although it took me a while to understand this, I realized that rather than vocally telling me that he was having a rough time, his actions said it all - after spending so much time with him, I knew when something was wrong. Although this can be frustrating to not have verbal communication, it has taught me that there are other ways to read people. 

I Believe in Living Everyday Like It's Your Last

When I was a young girl, my grandma would always say to me, “Live today like you're going to die tomorrow". At the time, I kind of just laughed it off. I thought I was invincible - nothing could stop me, not even death. I wouldn't say I took life for granted, but I definitely did not appreciate it as much as I should have. That is, until my friend was diagnosed with cancer when I was in 4th grade.

At the time, I was competing on a gymnastics team with girls who were mostly in high school. Because of this, I looked up to many of these girls. Natalie Malone was no exception: she was one of the most beautiful, kind, and genuine girls that I had ever met – I knew that when I grew up, I wanted to be just like her. She was shy and reserved, but once you got beyond that, there was so much beauty and wisdom that she had to offer.

In June 2004, Natalie was diagnosed with leukemia. At the age of 10, I could not truly grasp the idea of Natalie dying. Here was this amazing and successful 17-year-old girl who was suffering from cancer and there was nothing that I, or anyone else, could do about it.

On May 2^nd 2006, Natalie lost the battle against cancer. Although it was obviously hard to lose a friend, teammate, and role model, a lot of wisdom and positive things came from her death. Over the next few years, I spent a lot of time questioning God’s decision to take such a young life. I did not understand why someone so amazing as Natalie deserved to have her life taken away.

Although it was hard watching Natalie suffer with the battle against cancer, it helped me appreciate every moment I had with her. Because I knew that there was always the possibility of death, I valued every interaction with her, knowing it could be our last. Her death showed me how important it is to live life to the fullest and to not take a day for granted. In particular, I now understand the importance of appreciating the valuable time with loved ones.

For the past 5 years, I have been participating on behalf of Natalie on the Relay For Life committee. All proceeds of the fundraiser go towards the American Cancer Society. Even though I can no longer have direct communication with Natalie, I know that this is what she would have wanted me to do: fight for her and to live everyday like there’s no tomorrow.

Personal Tensions

The Setup:
Simply put, I have a tendency to over commit. I am interested in a variety of different areas and I hate eliminating one commitment. So instead, I just take on more than I can handle. I am also a huge control freak in the sense that I would rather be in charge of a project to make sure it gets done. Trusting others with a task frightens me so I take on extra work in order to make sure things go smoothly.

The What:
When I came to college, I knew from the beginning that I wanted to get involved in as many clubs/activities as possible. I wanted to be superwoman - play a sport, take on hard classes, join a sorority... You get the gist of it. At summer orientation, I put my name down for almost every club and activity that interest me (which, may I add, was literally every single one). The biggest commitment, however, was crew. I had never rowed before, but I had talked to the coach and he said that most rowers start as novices in college. So, I figured I may as well give it a shot. If I didn't like it after a year, I could aways quit. But my ultimate goal was to at least stick with it for freshman year.

Fall quarter was a struggle. It was a lot of fun, but it was hard. I was taking hard classes (and one's that I wasn't good at) and waking up at 5 every morning was not adding to the cause. On average, I was getting about 2.5 hours of sleep every night. On weekends, it was a treat to be able to sleep in until 6 AM on Saturday. But it was worth it - I had fallen in love with the sport. Unfortunately, no matter how much I loved the sport, it had a tolling impact on me. I felt like I couldn't give a 100% effort to school or crew, and it bothered me knowing that I wasn't reaching my full potential.

Over winter break, I realized that over spring break the crew team is required to stay at the school for Spring Training. My family and some other family friends had been planning a trip to Maui over spring break for more than a year. I emailed the coach and asked if there was any way that I could miss part of the spring training. He replied that I had to choose between a week with my family or 4 years with this team. Although I knew the automatic answer would be a week with my family, this was a really hard decision for me. I LOVED crew. The girls were awesome and it gave me something to look forward to every morning. But, in the end, family comes first. I emailed the coach and told him that I would no longer be continuing with the team.

The So What:
This was the hardest thing to do. I had made a commitment and I had broken it for another commitment. I absolutely HATE breaking commitments. I am the type of person who, if I say I'm going to do something, I stick with it - no matter how much time it takes, no matter what I have to do, I will go out of my way to make sure it gets done. Needless to say, quitting the crew team was awful. I felt like I had not only let myself down, I had let the entire team and coaches down as well.

The Now What:
Looking back on the situation, I do not have any regrets about quitting crew (or for trying it out). I know that I made the right decision - no matter what it is, family ALWAYS comes first in my books. I would do anything for my family, and if that means giving up 4 years of rowing to be with my family for a week, then so be it. I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

This quarter has also given me a lot of time to reflect on how unhealthy I was last quarter. There were some nights where I would just not go to bed at all and try to make it up with 4 hours of sleep the next night. I honestly do not know how my body was functioning. Over winter break, I would average over 12 hours of sleep a night - my body was trying to make up for all the lost time. This quarter, I have also had a lot more time to study - my grades have gotten significantly better and I feel overall better about myself. I made it my New Years Resolution to get at least 8 hours of sleep a night, and so far, it's been working. So, in the end, I know that giving up crew was right for me. Although I hated breaking the previous commitment, it needed to happen and spending a week with my family was the best way to be able to recognize the damage I was causing my body. You have to do what is right for you, even if that does mean breaking a commitment.

Values

My video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IAhDGYlpqY

When I saw this video a few years ago, it truly impacted on my life. Although it has to do with religion, it applies to multiple aspects of life as well. This video in particular shows how religion, which should unite people, actually tears people apart.

My favorite lines of this video are:
Now I ain't judging, I'm just saying quit putting on a fake look
Cause there's a problem if people only know you're a Christian by your Facebook
I mean in every other aspect of life, you know that logic's unworthy
It's like saying you play for the Lakers just because you bought a jersey

This really resonates with me because I think that people can say that they believe in one thing but they don't actually practice what they preach. Just because Facebook says they're Christian does not mean that they actually align with Christian values or morals. I truly try to have my actions and words line up with my beliefs. I want my actions to prove my values - not vice versa.

Being a Christian has impacted my values and beliefs in many ways. I think that someone should be able to say that you are Christian based on your actions and words, not just because of your title.

MBTI

I think this statement is partially true. I definitely do not think that I fall under one side of the spectrum or the other: I am a mixture of both. I think the MBTI highlights the general outline of one's personality and describes distinct extremes of the spectrum. However, it fails to leave room for anywhere in the middle. There are a few traits that I could see myself falling in the middle of two ends of the spectrum, but in general, I tend to lean more towards one side or the other instinctually.

I think that some MBTI types are viewed more positively than others. For example, P vs. J. In class, people made it sound like P's were bad. Coming from a J standpoint, the way that P's act stresses me out, however, there is no problem with the way they complete tasks. They just have a different way of approaching tasks. I do not think that society thinks one way is better than the other. Most people in our class tended to be J's so it made it seem like the P's were bad. However, I believe that in leadership situations, you need one of each type.